5 Reasons you Have to Start Today Mama

Photo: Bri M. Artist:  Ernest Shaw Jr.

Photo: Bri M. Artist: Ernest Shaw Jr.

“I tell my students, When you get these jobs that you have brilliantly trained for, just remember that your real job is that if you are free, you need to free somebody else. If you have some power, then your job is to empower somebody else.”

-Toni Morrison

This quote has reminded me of the importance to live in my truth, and to pursue whatever it is that gives me true joy. For a long time I thought my career choice should be whatever brings in the most money, because as a single black mother, times get hard and providing becomes a pride thing. “I’ll show him I don’t need his help! My kids gone’ be GOOD!”

Sings “Me and my baby we gon’ be alright, we gon’ live a good lifeeeee!”

So I would get the job, excel at the job, but then the job gave me no fulfillment. It would bring me misery. It triggered my anxiety and depression and then would have to “turn it off” and switch to Mommy-mode on the drive home to get baby from school. But that’s not how it works.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m currently working in corporate America. But as a creative it’s become important for me to put my “things” out into the universe. Balancing the Mad Milfy Podcast, Mad Milfy Blog, curating events, recently becoming a published author of “For Us: A Self Care Journal for Mamas” and a Full Spectrum Doula is a hell of a lot BUT it’s worth it for me because my sole purpose is to serve women and help to provide their healthiest, sexiest version of themselves mentally, physically and emotionally. I used to complain about how I didn’t have enough time for it all but I’ve learned to make time. Late nights, early mornings, with motherhood in the mix, can be a lot but it’s possible.

I believe in a life where love is given freely and limitless opportunities are in arms reach. I believe in a life that has abundance of gaiety, gratitude and aliveness. This is my reality. This is my life. And so it is. Thank you.

- Feliciana Cacciapuoti-Mathew

Artist Unknown

Artist Unknown

The goal is to work my ass off until I can get to a position that I’m working for myself. Toni Morrison has taught me to constantly want more for my black life. To be more, and to seek more for myself. Especially as a woman and mother. And wanting more for myself has given me the realization that we all need more in this tribe. The mission of the Mad Milfy Collective is to unpack normalized trauma as black women and mothers through interactive wellness (conversation, writing, and awareness). In all that I’ve created, I’ve given myself healing and then offered it to the sisters in our tribe. THAT has been the most rewarding.

I didn’t know what my purpose was until I hit rock bottom in my own life. I couldn’t wait another moment to start putting my brand out there. There was no perfect moment. I honestly pulled the trigger when I was in the worst place I could be mentally. My podcast mic had been collecting dust for almost a year when I finally dusted if because I had had enough of my OWN shit. Prior to that moment, I was just out in the world living in a routine that didn’t fit me.

Baby goes to school > Mommy goes to work > Mommy picks up baby from school > Mommy makes dinner > Mommy gets baby ready for bed > and repeat.

That shit didn’t work for me!

If nothing else, take this with you today:

  1. Do some soul searching to really find what your purpose is as an individual. Motherhood will become much easier when you fulfill your own needs first. (And don’t allow others to make you think otherwise, NO to mom-guilt!)

  2. Get as organized as you can to expand your time. Maybe wake up earlier, prep dinner for the week and pull clothes out for you and your child(ren) on Sunday, set a schedule for bed time for the little one, etc. The #ForUsJrnl really helps with goal setting, to do lists, motivational quotes, and more!

  3. SELF CARE IS IMPORTANT! I’m not talking getting your nails done, girl. I mean seeing a therapist once a week, being intentional with meditation, journaling, spending time in nature and getting some vitamin D, taking a child-free movie date with yourself, etc. You see where I’m going here.

  4. Pour as much in to your purpose as you do into that job that doesn’t fulfill you. Your purpose will provide the money you’ve been working hard for at that 9-5. Money will come to you more easily doing the things you love!

  5. Time won’t wait! Don’t be the mom that blames your child for not being able to pursue your dreams! Don’t wait for the right time, because there’s no such thing. Plant the seeds to reap the benefits! Harvest season will be here before you know it!

I’m a person that has struggled with self worth my entire life. Believe it or not, motherhood was rocky as hell at first, but over time it started to shape me as a woman. It’s taught me things about myself. It’s showed me my strength. It’s taught me to love myself and to prioritize self healing! I want this for all of us. And WE WILL HAVE IT!

Take your time, but don’t procrastinate Mama.

- For Us: A Self Care Journal for Mamas by Bri “Bam” Mobley

Brianne MobleyComment